Told myself I wasn’t going to write about it… but I’m going to.

Matt and I have been trying to conceive for 3 months now.  With no success.  I know its early and I shouldn’t be worrying yet, but I can’t help it.  I’ve been told by several people “don’t think about it and it’ll happen.” but its all I can think about.  And there’s a huge thing standing in our way… his job.

I’m not one to say I hate the military, and that’s obvious by the name of my blog, but I won’t lie and say I don’t have a hard time when he’s gone, especially now.  It’s impossible to have a baby when the man I love is underwater somewhere, there’s no telling when he’ll be home and if I’ll be in the magical ovulating window.

Yesterday I was two days late and starting to get excited only to wake up this morning with a visit from good ol’ Aunt Flow.  I told myself, “Don’t get upset…” then turned on one of my favorite guilty pleasures, Soap Net.  One Tree Hill was on and what did I hear??  Peyton saying, “I’m pregnant.”  This is when I broke down.  I know it’s just a silly show (one of my favorites) but it was complete and total awful timing.

Now I’m here… eating chocolate chips straight out of the bag and hoping it won’t be long until I can say the same words, “I’m pregnant.”

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